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Monday, November 14, 2011

Reframing from Anger: Character of the new man

Photo: Grove Pashley
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, James 1:19

When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. Proverb 10:19

Taking another look at anger, the most misunderstood emotion; it’s safe to say anger is a debilitating disorder destroying adult males in countless households. An innumerable about of men identify daily within their minds with the perception of being offended thus leading to some form of retaliation. All too often, these mental conflicts trigger a rage toward men, women and children. This outburst is typically caused by but not limited to work, (the lack there of), disagreements, or the emasculation of men by women.

The editorial, “Change the Pain Make it your Gain,” by CEO Munson Steed, touched upon how men have to learn to “defy anger and become a game changer”. In my opinion, to become a changer of the game, people cannot converse with “if that where me I would do this” type of friends but learn to associate with positive and Godly folk. Discover how to put away anger, evil speaking and learn to be kind to one another Eph. 4:31-32. One contributing factor to the root cause of anger is a deficiency of communication between men. This hoarding of a man’s anguish can lead to aggression which can ultimately “land you in an orange jumpsuit.”

There are steps to formulating new characteristics which can enable men to put on tender mercies of kindness and humbleness. Contrary to popular belief, displaying such attributes is manlier that most would want to accept as true.

The mis-education of all the aforementioned barriers for men has darkened their understanding causing them to be alienated from the life of God; Eph. 4:18, end result hardening of hearts thus leading to anger.

By implementing and incorporating the following tips they can aid in healing as well as maintaining a healthier life.

1. Develop a relationship with God: Let the word of Christ dwell in you Col. 3:14

2. Aspire to have healthy and Godly conversation with brothers in need, learn to forgive and grow: Realize that ‘Real Men’ are not Superman; they do cry, feel pain, and cannot leap tall buildings in a single bound.

3. Stop judging or speaking evil of one another James 4:11: These are negative enablers lead to angry outburst and disagreements

4. Form a support group of men: When two or three gather in the name of Jesus, he is present. In the process teach, console, and don’t be afraid to sing and praise God during group sessions.

If anger situations have escalated to being volatile, with you or someone you love please seek professional counseling.

One thing stands true for all men; they need encouraging supporters in their corner. By having devoted advocates, this provides a man with an outlet to release pain and anger so it will not become bottled up within. Brothers, break the bondage of your mind, learn to release positive energy, be confident, talk with other men, and rebuke anger that dwells inside us all. By doing so, it can lead to a happier and healthier life that women as well as children could enjoy.

Tigner J.

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